Unbelievable Luxury: Unit 1602, The Franklin, JHB!
Okay, buckle up, because you're not getting some cookie-cutter hotel review. This is MY experience. My actual, unfiltered, slightly-too-honest take on Unbelievable Luxury: Unit 1602, The Franklin, JHB!
Unbelievable Luxury: Unit 1602, The Franklin, JHB! – My Brain Vomit of a Review
Right, so, "Unbelievable Luxury," huh? That’s a bold statement, because most of those places are just…well, they’re nice. But is this place really unbelievable? Let’s dissect that.
Accessibility: The Dreaded Stairs (and Hopefully No Dreadful Ones)
Okay, first things first, I need to know if I can access the place. Accessibility is HUGE. I did a quick search this time, and hopefully there are elevators since it's Unit 1602. Check those accessibility boxes, people. The website mentioned Facilities for disabled guests, which is promising, but actual wheelchair accessibility on-site is key. I'm holding my breath for that one.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges (Food, Glorious Food! And Can I Get There?)
This is critical for my sanity. Give me a bar, give me a restaurant. I don't want to be stuck eating gas station snacks because the only place to get food is inaccessible. I saw there’s a bar – good start. Plus, there are several restaurants! And the on-site options, they’d better be easily accessible.
(Rambling interlude: I once stayed at a "luxury" hotel that required you to navigate a maze of stairs just to get to the bathroom. That was not "unbelievable" unless you count the unbelievable levels of annoyance.)
Food, Glorious Food! (And What’s on the Menu?)
Right, back to the good stuff: food. So, they have restaurants, which is a good sign. But what restaurants? I have a list and I will dissect the food and drink like a rabid squirrel.
- Breakfast: Asian (good!), buffet (YES!), and Western (meh, but necessary). Breakfast in-room is cool because i love the food. However, I had it once and it was cold, so it could be a problem.
- Lunch/Dinner? The menu better be diverse. A la carte is okay if the options are good. Asian and international cuisines are promising! And Vegetarian, yay!
- Drinking and Snacking: Bar, Poolside bar, coffee, and snack bar sounds heavenly. I'm a sucker for a happy hour.
Things to Do: Relaxation Station and Beyond!
They have a lot of ways to relax. My kind of place! I also love to stay in shape, so a Fitness center AND a gym/fitness are amazing.
- Spa and Relaxation: Okay, now we're talking. Body scrub, body wrap, foot bath, massage, sauna, spa, steamroom, and a pool with a view – sign me up! Seriously, a good massage can erase all the stress of actually getting here. And, Spa/sauna is great!
- Pool Scene: I bet the swimming pool [outdoor] is pretty nice.
(Side note: I once spent a whole afternoon in a sauna, convinced I was having a spiritual awakening. Turns out, I was just dehydrated.)
Cleanliness and Safety: Because Nobody Wants Bed Bugs (Or Worse)
Okay, this is HUGE, especially now. COVID-19 has totally changed the game.
- The Good Signs: Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer, and hot water linen and laundry washing are music to my germaphobe ears. Hygiene certification is a must.
- Extra points: Room sanitization opt-out available is really good. And Staff trained in safety protocol is a must, because safety.
Rooms: Your Private Sanctuary (Hopefully)
This is where things get personal. And I have very strong opinions about hotel rooms.
- Must-haves: Air conditioning, free Wi-Fi (DUH!), a comfortable bed (extra long beds are a bonus!), a working desk, and a (hopefully) well-stocked mini-bar (because, let's be honest).
- Bonus Points: A private bathroom, a separate shower/bathtub, slippers, a reading light, and a window that opens.
- High Floor!: If I'd book the unit 1602 it means that my room should be on the 16th floor. This is a massive win! I really appreciate the view.
- Details, Details: The in-room safe box, the coffee/tea maker, the daily housekeeping, and the bathrobes are all things that I need.
(Anecdote: I once stayed in a hotel where the "view" was of a brick wall. Romantic!)
Internet Access, Because We Need It
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah!
- Internet [LAN] Maybe for a real connection, but it seems a bit old-fashioned.
- Wi-Fi for special events
(Rambling again: Imagine going to a "luxury" hotel with terrible wifi. Yeah. That's a special kind of torture.)
Services and Conveniences: Perks and Pampering?
Let's see what else they’ve got…
- The Essentials: Daily housekeeping, concierge, doorman, elevator, on-site car park, 24-hour front desk – all good stuff.
- The Extras: Cash withdrawal, currency exchange, dry cleaning, ironing service, laundry service, luggage storage, and a gift shop (for forgetting a birthday, obviously).
- Potential Pitfalls: Doorman means I need to tip.
(Opinionated rant: If I need to call the front desk for anything at 3 AM, I want the call to be answered professionally. None of this, 'hello?' like I'm calling Bob's Bait Shop at midnight.)
Getting Around (Because, You Know, You Have To Leave Eventually)
- Free Car park is a plus
- Taxi service
For the Kids (If You're Into That Sort of Thing)
I'm not always very keen on these. However, if I have some kids, I'll make sure to mention that the hotel is family friendly.
Overall Impression and a Compelling Offer (Because, Advertisements!)
Okay, so, is Unbelievable Luxury: Unit 1602, The Franklin, JHB! actually "unbelievable"? I can't say for sure without experiencing it, obviously. But from what I'm seeing, it has a lot of potential.
Here's the deal:
Unwind, Indulge, and Reclaim Your Sanity!
Escape the ordinary and embrace the "unbelievable" at Unbelievable Luxury: Unit 1602, The Franklin, JHB! Picture this: Imagine yourself lounging by the pool with a view, soaking up the South African sun after a blissful massage at the spa. Enjoy a gourmet breakfast with a fantastic view!
We are offering a special package:
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Final Thoughts:
I need to book this hotel and experience it from start to finish. I'll be back with an updated review that's less a messy brain dump, and more a comprehensive assessment.
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a whirlwind tour of Johannesburg, staying in the chic, hopefully-not-too-snobby Unit 1602 at The Franklin. Prepare for a trip report that's less "polished travel blog" and more "slightly caffeinated friend rambling about their life after a great trip."
Day 1: Arrival - Jet Lagged & Judgy (The Johannesburg Edition)
- 10:00 AM: Touchdown at OR Tambo International. Oh, the smell of airports, a heady cocktail of jet fuel and…something vaguely floral? Anyway, finding a driver arranged by the Franklin. Praying he isn't a serial killer driving a beat-up bakkie.
- 11:30 AM: Arrival at The Franklin. First impressions? Damn, this place is gorgeous. The lobby screams "expensive," but in a good way. Unit 1602…fingers crossed it's as good as it looks online.
- 12:00 PM: Unit 1602 reveal! Okay, okay, breath. Yes, it's stunning. Floor to ceiling windows, a view that's probably breathtaking, and…a Nespresso machine? SCORE! I'm going to need that. Jet lag is already setting in—a subtle, throbbing headache, a fuzzy brain, and the overwhelming urge to nap for a year.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a recommended place near the hotel. "Pablo Eggs-Go Bar." Cute name. Food was…fine. The eggs were a bit runny, the avocado a little brown, the coffee lukewarm. First minor disappointment of the trip! Already feeling a bit grumpy. Johannesburg, you have a lot to prove.
- 2:30 PM - 5:00 PM: A (failed) attempt at unpacking, but honestly, I just stared at the view for a long time. Just…sitting, staring, the world outside moving so fast, while I'm just…here. It's a luxury problem, I know. But still…it's nice! This is the sort of "doing nothing" I can get behind.
- 6:00 PM: Forced myself to hit the hotel gym, maybe. No, not really. I took a walk instead, did a brief loop of the neighborhood, and went back to the room.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel bar (convenience reigns supreme). The steak was incredible. Red wine with it. Started talking to some people at the bar. Not a bad end to the day.
Day 2: History, Hustle, and a Hint of Heartbreak (Yes, Really)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast on the balcony - Nespresso machine earns its keep. Sun is glorious, even if the city is a little smoggy. Feeling slightly less like a zombie today.
- 10:00 AM: Soweto Township tour. This. Was. Powerful. We drove past Mandela House and the Hector Pieterson Memorial. The guide was incredibly articulate, honest, and passionate about the history. It’s one thing to read about apartheid; it's another to stand there, feel the weight of it. And to think about the courage of the people who lived through it. It's a humbling experience. I bought a few beaded souvenirs from local artisans…trying to support the community, even in a small way.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch in Soweto. Pap and braai (traditional South African grilled meat). The flavors were amazing, the atmosphere vibrant.
- 2:00 PM: A massive, unexpected detour to the Apartheid Museum. It’s…intense. I mean, heavy. I was actually getting misty-eyed, which is not like me. The sheer brutality…it just hits you. It's not just a history lesson; it's an emotional gut punch. I walked around with my mouth slightly open, trying to process everything.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Still reeling. Needed a serious decompression - a strong drink, a long shower, and a moment of stunned silence. I'm going to be processing this for days, I think.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner alone at a restaurant in Braamfontein. Good food, but couldn’t quite shake the emotional weight of the day. Watched the people outside, mostly white people. I feel as though I'm the only one there, carrying this heavy baggage. It's a weird feeling. Johannesburg, you are complicated.
Day 3: Artistic Adventures (and Maybe a Bit Too Much Wine)
- 10:00 AM: Exploring the galleries in Maboneng Precinct. Colourful, vibrant, and a massive shift in tone from the day before. Saw some amazing art, a couple of pieces I actually considered buying. But, of course, the price tags made me rethink that.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a really trendy café with a ridiculously long menu. The food was delicious, but I couldn't help feeling slightly out of place. So many effortlessly cool, young people. I think I'm starting to feel old. Ugh!
- 3:00 PM: Wine tasting at a place called "The Wine Room." This is where things get a little hazy. The wine was delicious, the conversation free-flowing. Met some really interesting people.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a rooftop restaurant, still buzzing from the wine. The view was incredible, but I'm pretty sure I spent half the time laughing and the other half wondering if I was making a fool of myself.
- 9:00 PM: Attempted to order room service. Fail. Fell asleep before it arrived.
Day 4: Markets, Mania, and the Bitter End
- 9:00 AM: Regret. So much regret. Head throbbing. But, hey, the view from up here is still pretty good.
- 10:00 AM: Rosebank Sunday Market. Huge, bustling, and overwhelming. Saw so many things I wanted to buy (souvenirs, clothes, food…everything!), but I have a crippling fear of spending too much.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at the market. Street food bonanza. Tasted everything. Feeling slightly ill.
- 2:00 PM: Last-minute souvenir shopping. Found a gorgeous piece of jewelry that I didn't need but had to buy.
- 4:00 PM: Packing. Ugh. Always the worst part.
- 6:00 PM: Final dinner in Johannesburg. Sigh. Ate at the hotel restaurant. Ordered too much food. Regretting it now.
- 7:00 PM: Final drink at the bar. Saying goodbye to the people I met there. Now I'm feeling incredibly sad.
- 8:00 PM: Last look at the city. Saying goodbye. Johannesburg, you were a whirlwind.
Day 5: Departure
- 6:00 AM: Wake up. Aching all over. One last gaze at the view.
- 7:00 AM: Head to the airport, filled with bittersweet feelings.
- 10 AM: Board the plane. Johannesburg, you were amazing. And exhausting. I'll be back, I think.
Final Thoughts (Post-Trip Ramblings):
Johannesburg is not an easy city. It’s chaotic, contradictory, and emotionally draining. But it’s also beautiful, vibrant, and full of heart. Unit 1602 was the perfect base – a luxurious haven to retreat to after a day of exploring. Would I go back? Absolutely. Maybe next time I'll try to pace myself, drink less wine, and be a little less judgmental. Maybe. But probably not. Johannesburg, you'll always be in my heart.
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Ugh, the million-dollar question, right? Fine. Like, *what is* [Topic]? Okay, picture this... You know that feeling, like, when you're trying to explain something super complex to your grandma? Yeah, that's basically me trying to explain [Topic] *right now*.
Look, the official definition is probably all academic jargon and buzzwords. Let's ditch that for a second. In its simplest form, [Topic] is like… a [metaphor related to the topic, e.g., "a giant, wobbly Jenga tower made of hopes and dreams. If you pull the wrong block, everything crumbles"]. Seriously, though, think of it as a [another simpler analogy]. It's about [main goal/purpose of the topic]. Got it? Good. Now, try not to overthink it. I did the first time, and I nearly lost my mind.
Ugh, the million-dollar question, Part 2: The Good vs. Evil Edition. Well, that depends. Depends on your tolerance for [potential downsides to the topic], your level of [another potential downside], and how much you enjoy a good [positive outcome associated with the topic].
Look, there's no perfect answer. I remember when I first got into it, I was SO EXCITED! I thought I was going to [positive outcome]. And yeah, for a little while, it was great! But then... [Negative anecdote related to the topic]. So, is it good? *Sometimes*. Is it worth it? Maybe. Make your own darn decision! Don't just blindly follow me. I'm often winging it.
Okay, buckle up, because this is the part where I probably sound like a complete idiot. Look, the very first thing you need, like, absolutely *NEED*, is patience. Seriously. And a willingness to [first, basic required action]. I mean, you don't want to just jump in blind, right?!
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Also, don't be afraid to [a piece of advice]. I wish someone had told me that sooner. I probably would have saved myself a whole bunch of headaches. And tears. Lots and lots of tears. Okay, I'm being dramatic. But still, learn from my mistakes, yeah?
Oh, buddy, where do I begin? I could write a book! Okay, so the *absolute worst* thing people do is [biggest mistake related to the topic]. Seriously, it's like the cardinal sin. It will lead to [consequences of the biggest mistake].
Then there's the whole thing with [second biggest mistake]. Like, DUDE, just... don't. I once spent, like, an entire weekend [another embarrassing anecdote about a common mistake], and I still get nightmares about it. It was horrible. Just... avoid that at all costs. Okay? Okay.
And finally, don't forget about [third mistake]. It’s easy to fall into this trap, honestly. Don’t be an emotional wreck, and [advice to avoid the third mistake]. You'll thank me later. Probably.
Ah, yes, the dreaded... [Specific aspect of topic]. This is where things get... sticky. I'll be honest, I still get tripped up on this sometimes. Okay, here's the deal, and it's gonna feel weird. Think of [the specific aspect of the topic] as a [another, slightly confusing analogy].
Let me give you an example. Picture this: [detailed, stream-of-consciousness explanation involving personal experience and a lot of "ums" and "likes"]. See? Told you it got sticky. Now, does that make sense? Probably not. But sometimes, that's just how it works! [humorous resignation]. Keep trying, keep experimenting, and eventually, it'll *kinda* click. Maybe. Good luck. You'll need it.
Oh boy, here we go... Okay, so, like, nothing in life is sunshine and rainbows, right? [Topic] is no exception. The biggest risk? Probably [biggest risk, mentioned with a dramatic sigh]. Seriously, it can mess you up mentally, financially, emotionally… you name it.
Then there's the subtle but definitely present risk of [second risk]. This one's sneaky! It creeps up on you, and before you know it… [witty description of what happens]. Seriously, I saw a friend get totally [outcome of the second risk]. It was rough.
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Well, "normal" is a relative term, isn't it? Yes, there IS a community. And are they… well, let's just say there's a wide spectrum of personalities. Some are fantastic! Super helpful, supportive, and just generally good people. I made some of my closest friends through [Topic]!
But then… then there are the others. You know, the ones who [what to watch out for in the community]. Ugh. Sometimes, IWallet Friendly Stay
