Pretoria's BEST Kept Secret: Red Apple Guest House Awaits!
Pretoria's BEST Kept Secret: Red Apple Guest House Awaits! - Seriously, Book This Place! (A Rambling Review)
Okay, okay, let me just say this: forget the sterile, cookie-cutter hotels. Red Apple Guest House in Pretoria is NOT that. This place… this place has character. And I’m not talking about some manufactured "rustic chic" vibe. I’m talking REAL character. And honestly? It's kind of addictive.
Let's get the boring-but-important stuff outta the way first, then we can dive into the good stuff.
Accessibility & Safety (aka, the "Adulting" Section):
Right, so, accessibility. They've got Facilities for disabled guests – crucial! I didn't personally need them, but peace of mind is a big deal, yeah? And the elevator is a lifesaver after a long day of… exploring. CCTV in common areas and outside property is a good thing, always. Security [24-hour], front desk [24-hour], smoke alarms… the usual safety net, thankfully. And they’ve clearly taken the whole COVID thing seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, individually-wrapped food options, sanitizing everything – rooms and all – between stays… they've got it covered. Plus, staff is trained in safety protocol. That's a huge relief. There's even a doctor/nurse on call, but hopefully, you won't need 'em! They also have hand sanitizers strategically placed everywhere. I was a little paranoid at first but saw the cleaning crew do their job. Really thorough.
Internet & Techy Stuff:
Okay, so Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!. That is the most important thing to start with. Internet access - Wireless and Internet access - LAN are also available, which is great if you're, y'know, working from the road (like me!).
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (The FUN Stuff):
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this is where Red Apple really shines. They've got a swimming pool – beautiful, outdoors, and refreshing after a hot day. But honestly, forget the pool for a sec… the spa. I'm not usually a spa person. I’m more of a “sweat it out in a gym” kinda gal. But I caved. And I am SO, SO glad I did.
I went with the Body Wrap. Look, I don't know what magic they put in those wraps, but I felt like a new person afterwards! Seriously, I think I spent a good half hour just staring at my skin, marveling at the glow. Okay, maybe I was a little dramatic… but the Body scrub was amazing too! I felt like a completely renewed human. They have a Sauna and a Steamroom as well. They even have a Pool with view (but I was too busy being wrapped and buffed!). This place, if you want to completely relax, it's going to get that done for you.
They also have a Fitness center, which I, uh, glanced at. (Let’s just say the Body Wrap experience trumped any desire to exercise.)
Dining, Drinking & Snacking (My Favorite Category):
The food… oh, the food. Okay, so, they've got Restaurants, plural! And a Poolside bar. That's crucial. The Bar itself is cozy and friendly. They do a Happy hour, which is VERY welcome after a day of… well, everything.
Breakfast… oh, breakfast. Breakfast [buffet] is your standard affair but really well done. Think fresh fruit, pastries, and all the usual suspects. They also do an Asian breakfast option – a nice touch! You can also get Breakfast in room if you're feeling lazy (like me, most mornings). They offer Breakfast takeaway service, if you need it, and 24-hour room service. I might have ordered a burger at 2 am one night. Don't judge. It was delicious. Actually, most of the food was pretty damn good. They even do Asian cuisine in restaurant, and the Coffee/tea in restaurant is always hot and ready! They had a Vegetarian restaurant on site too, which I did not try (I'm not a vegetarian).
Services and Conveniences (The Stuff You Forget You Need Until You Really Need It):
Daily housekeeping. Thank God. My room looked like a bomb had exploded after day one. Laundry service – also a lifesaver, trust me. Concierge – super helpful with any questions. Currency exchange, cash withdrawal, safe deposit boxes… all the practical stuff you could want. Air conditioning in the public areas is an absolute MUST, trust me.
For the Kids (If You're Into That Sort of Thing):
I don't have kids, but they seem family-friendly. There's a babysitting service and kids facilities.
Available in All Rooms (The Nitty Gritty):
Okay, let's get down to the specifics of the rooms themselves. Air conditioning (thank GOD!), alarm clock, bathrobes (YES!), bath tub (nice!), a coffee/tea maker (vital!), all the basic toiletries, free wifi, and a TV with loads of channels. The blackout curtains were a lifesaver, especially after those long days of spa-ing. And the bed? Oh, the bed was fantastic! My room had a separate shower/bathtub, which I appreciate. Additional toilet for convenience, and a refrigerator to keep the drinks cool. They’ve thought of everything. Okay, and let me just say, there were slippers. This is important.
Getting Around:
They offer airport transfer, which is a huge help. Car park [free of charge] is awesome.
The Little Quirks (The Stuff That Makes it Special):
This is where Red Apple really shines. The staff: so friendly and helpful. They made me, the slightly overwhelmed tourist, feel right at home. They’re not just doing their jobs; they seem genuinely happy to be there. And there’s something so… relaxed about the whole place. It’s not pretentious or stuffy at all.
I had requested a non-smoking room, and no problems here!. The soundproofing was fantastic! I didn't hear a peep from anyone.
The Imperfections (Because Nothing's Perfect, Right?):
Okay, so, the internet wasn't lightning-fast all the time. Sometimes, the Wi-Fi hiccuped, but honestly? It forced me to disconnect a little, which, in this crazy world, is probably a good thing. And the shower pressure in my room could've been a little stronger. But these are minor quibbles. These are all minor quibbles.
My Red Apple Experience: An Anecdote
And here's the big thing, the thing that really sold me on Red Apple Guest House: The staff. Seriously. I mentioned I'd come to Pretoria to work some things out in my life. The staff was so kind and attentive. Always smiling. Helpful. One day, I was having a pretty epic meltdown in my room (nothing serious, just… stuff). I finally decided to have dinner at the restaurant. The waiter – an amazing guy called Peter – seemed to know. He brought me a bottle of water, and he just… listened. Not in a pitying way, but in a genuinely empathetic way. He didn't try to fix anything. But he made a difference. THAT is the kind of service you can't script. THAT made this place special. It wasn’t just a hotel, it was a place of comfort.
Overall Vibe: Totally Recommend!
Listen. If you want a sanitized, soulless hotel experience, go somewhere else. If you want a place with character, charm, and a seriously relaxing vibe? RED APPLE GUEST HOUSE. BOOK IT. You won't regret it. Seriously. I’m already planning my return.
BOOK NOW! – The "Treat Yourself" Offer (Because You Deserve It!):
Book your stay at Red Apple Guest House ANY time within the next month, and get a FREE 30-minute massage at their amazing spa! PLUS, upgrade you room to offer a private balcony with your own seating area with a complimentary bottle of red wine
Why? Because you deserve it, sweetie! You've earned it. And let's be honest, you know you want to. Trust me. Just do it. You will be utterly thrilled with your choice.
Luxury Redefined: Astra Hotels & Suites, Marathalli Bangalore — Your Dream Stay Awaits
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't just an itinerary, it's a journey. And a slightly chaotic, probably sleep-deprived, definitely red-wine-fueled one at that. This is my "Red Apple Guest House, Pretoria: A Love Affair (and a Few Minor Meltdowns)" itinerary. Brace yourselves.
Day 1: Arrival and the Promise of Pineapple
- 13:00 - 14:00: Arrival at OR Tambo International Airport, Johannesburg. Okay, so the flight was brutal. Neighbor snoring like a chain saw, turbulence that made me question my life choices, and the airline food? Let's just say it wasn't exactly Michelin-star material. The customs guy, however, was surprisingly friendly. I think he saw the desperation in my eyes for a proper cup of coffee.
- 14:00 - 15:00: Shuttle to Red Apple Guest House, Pretoria. The drive itself was…an experience. We passed through what felt like a hundred different worlds. Gleaming malls beside dusty townships. Luxury cars weaving through potholes. The driver, bless his heart, kept yelling, "Welcome to Africa!" every five minutes, which, while enthusiastic, felt a little… repetitive. (But I loved it.)
- 15:00 - 16:00: Check-in and First Impressions. Red Apple itself is charming! Think comfy couches, a garden bursting with colour (seriously, the bougainvillea is bonkers!), and a resident ginger cat named Mr. Fluffernutter (I may have renamed him). The owner, a lovely woman named Maria, welcomed me with a smile and a glass of ice water that tasted like liquid heaven. And then… a small platter of fresh pineapple. OH. MY. GOD. I swear, that pineapple was the single greatest thing I’d eaten in months. It was sweet, juicy, and transported me to some tropical paradise. I practically inhaled it.
- 16:00 - 18:00: Exploration of the Guest House, Unpacking, and Immediate Desire for a Nap. Found my room, which is cozy and has a ridiculously comfortable bed. Began to unpack, realised I'd forgotten my adapter. Panic momentarily ensued. Calmed myself by thinking about the pineapple (still in heaven). Seriously, that pineapple was… oh, sorry, rambling. Need nap. Now.
- 18:00 - 19:00: Pre-Dinner Drinks on the Patio. Settled in the garden and attempted to read my book, but the scent of something delicious wafting from the kitchen kept distracting me. Ordered a glass of South African wine (of course). Spotted Mr. Fluffernutter eyeing me suspiciously. I think he knew about the pineapple. I may have to share. Maybe.
- 19:00 - 20:00: Dinner at Red Apple. Maria's cooking. The rumour was true. It’s amazing. Tonight was a traditional South African potjie (a slow-cooked meat stew). The meat was fall-off-the-bone tender, and the vegetables were perfect. Absolutely devoured it all. The wine flowed, and I found myself chatting with a couple from London about… well, everything. It was pure, uncomplicated joy.
- 20:00 - 22:00: Jet Lag and a Midnight Snack Mission. The jet lag hit me like a ton of bricks. I attempted to stay awake but ended up face-planting on the bed. Woke up at 11:30 PM with a ravenous hunger. The kitchen was locked. Desperate, I snuck out and found… leftover pineapple in the fridge. Result!
Day 2: History, Museums, and a Moment of Existential Dread
- 08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast Bonanza. Maria makes a mean breakfast! Pancakes, fruit, and a coffee that wakes you up like a jolt of electricity. Had a long chat with a guy from Denmark who was convinced that aliens built the Voortrekker Monument. Fascinating stuff.
- 09:00 - 12:00: A Deep Dive and a Minor Crisis at the Voortrekker Monument. The monument itself is impressive, awe-inspiring, even. The scale is staggering. But… and here’s the thing… I found myself slightly overwhelmed. The history is complex, and frankly, a little…heavy. So many battles, so much sorrow. I wandered around, absorbing the stories, feeling a bit… sad. Suddenly, I had this overwhelming urge for a giant ice cream cone and a nap. The existential dread was real, people.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Lunch and Regrouping. Found a cute little café and grabbed a sandwich. Ate it slowly, trying to process the morning’s events. Decided to focus on the positive: the sunshine, the delicious coffee, the fact that I was actually in South Africa.
- 13:00 - 16:00: The Pretoria Art Museum and a Realisation About My Inner Child. Finally got my ice cream! Then I spent the afternoon wandering around the Pretoria Art Museum. Some of the art was incredible. Some of it… well, let's just say I'm not an art critic. I did, however, have a major moment of clarity looking at a particularly whimsical sculpture. The childlike wonder I once felt suddenly became apparent and I just let myself feel it (until the urge to run around the gallery and touch everything nearly got the better of me!)
- 16:00 - 18:00: Coffee and Chill Time. Back to the Guest House. Sat on the patio, lost in the book. Mr. Fluffernutter joined me, purring like a tiny engine. I’m starting to think this cat and I are destined to be best friends.
- 18:00 - 19:00: Dinner Again. Thank God for Maria’s cooking. Tonight was a delicious plate of grilled chicken and veggies. Met a new couple from Germany who were ridiculously charming.
- 19:00 - 22:00: Wind Down and Another Attempt at Actual Relaxation (Failing Successfully). Tried yoga on the patio and failed miserably. Then, I indulged in a long, hot shower, using all the fancy toiletries. Read a book. Drank red wine. And the jet lag? Still lurking. It’s a constant battle.
Day 3: More History, More Wine, and a Slight Hangover.
- 08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast and the Ghosts of Yesterday. Scrambled eggs and coffee, this time a little more subdued. The aftermath of yesterday’s wine still lingered.
- 09:00 - 12:00: The Union Buildings, and the Weight of the World. We took in the incredible architecture of the Union Buildings, which is a stunning piece of history. The view is amazing, BUT (and this is a big but) the political history that surrounds it is a heavy one. Thinking about Nelson Mandela and the struggle for equality is impossible not to have an emotional reaction and get me thinking about the state of my own world.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Lunch. Tried a local restaurant with the others and all of our conversations ended up being about the incredible food and the history we just experienced.
- 13:00 - 15:00: Time to explore the city. We hopped onto a minibus taxi, which was a total experience! We went shopping, bought souvenirs, and experienced a whole new side of Pretoria!
- 15:00 - 17:00: Chill time. Back to the Guest House. This time, Mr. Fluffernutter took a nap on my lap.
- 17:00 - 19:00: Wine time and the Final Dinner. I was not sure where I could be more happy as I watched the sunset and drank a glass of South African wine.
- 19:00 - 20:00: Maria's last dinner. Maria's dishes all weekend had me in love and I wanted more. It was impossible to say good bye to her cooking.
- 20:00 - 22:00: Packing and the bittersweet goodbye. I wish Mr Fluffernutter would stay.
Day 4: Leaving and the Longing for Pineapple.
- 08:00 - 09:00: Final Breakfast. One last breakfast with Maria's magic and a cup of her coffee.
- 09:00 - 10:00: Last farewells, a hug, and the promise to return. I will come back to the Red Apple Guest House and will forever be grateful for this beautiful experience.
- 10:00 - 11:00: Shuttle to OR Tambo.
- 11:00 - 14:00: Flight.
- The end.
Pretoria's BEST Kept Secret: Red Apple Guest House - FAQ (and a bit of me!)
So, what *actually* makes Red Apple Guest House a "best-kept secret"? Is it really *that* good? Don't hype it up too much...
Okay, okay, deep breaths. Look, I'm a cynical person. I *expect* things to be overhyped. But Red Apple? Honestly...yeah, it kinda is. It’s not the glitzy, Instagram-perfect kind of place. Hell, the wifi sometimes sputtered like an old lawnmower. But the vibe... oh, the vibe! Think cozy, not clinical. Think family hug, not corporate handshake. Remember that time I went, and I was *exhausted* from a conference? I just wanted to curl up and disappear. I remember the owner, this lovely woman named Susan (I think?), offered me a cup of tea and a slice of this homemade carrot cake that was practically a religious experience. Seriously, the cake was so moist, it defied logic. And then there's the garden... oh, the garden! It's a chaotic, glorious mess of color and scent. Birds singing, the sun dappling through the leaves... it’s just… peaceful. So, yes, it might be a *little* overhyped in my head. But I desperately needed a place I could be myself, and I found that at Red Apple. It wasn't perfect, but it was perfect for *me* at that moment. And that's a pretty good secret to keep, if you ask me!
Okay, okay, you’ve got me intrigued. What’s the rooms like? Pretty basic? Or what?
Alright, realistic expectations time. Don’t go expecting a five-star hotel, because Red Apple isn't that. The rooms are comfortable, clean, and well-maintained, but they aren't minimalist-chic. They're filled with… stuff. In a good way. You know, a comfy armchair, a well-stocked bookshelf (mostly with books from the 90's, but hey, nostalgia!), and little touches that make it feel like someone actually *lives* there. My room had a small, private balcony, which was perfect for early mornings. And the bathroom... It was functional, not fancy! It might not have had a jacuzzi, but after a tough day seeing places, it had hot water and that's a blessing! It's more like staying in a super-friendly aunt's spare room than a cold hotel. Honestly, I’m still not sure if the bed was a queen or a double and honestly, it doesn't even matter. The memories I made there, that's what matters.
Breakfast – spill the tea! Is it worth waking up for? Or are we talking continental mediocrity?
Oh. My. Goodness. The breakfast. Okay, this is where Red Apple *really* shines. Forget your sad little continental breakfasts. (I’m looking at you, chain hotels.) Susan and her team put on a *spread*. Seriously. Think fresh fruit platters, perfectly cooked eggs (however you like ‘em, they’ll make it happen), bacon that actually *crisps* (a crucial detail!), homemade bread, and… and… (deep breath) pancakes. Fluffy, golden pancakes. The kind that you just *know* someone poured their heart into. *And* they had this amazing homemade jam… Oh, it was glorious. I remember the first morning, I must've eaten enough to feed a small army. And that's just how the breakfasts are. I’m not even a big breakfast person, but I wouldn't miss it for the world! And the coffee... strong enough to wake the dead. No, really. I think it actually revived a plant in the corner of the dining room one morning.
How about location? Is it safe? Close to things? Tell me!
Location-wise, I would say it is a tad complicated. It's in a quieter part of Pretoria, which, honestly, is a huge relief after dealing with traffic. I felt pretty safe during my stay, but always check recent travel advisories and use common sense. The Red Apple might not be right in the thick of the action, but that's kind of the point. It's a peaceful retreat. You will need a car or use ride-sharing services to get around. It might be a bit inconvenient if you're planning on partying all night. But, if you're looking for a place to unwind and explore Pretoria at your own pace, well, yeah, it's a perfect base. My best piece of advice? Ask Susan! She's a fountain of local knowledge and can make some recommendations. Sometimes she even offers rides or suggestions. Don't be afraid to get her input. Also always check your surroundings. It’s the best advice anyone can give you.
This sounds too good to be true. What are the downsides? What did you *not* like?
Okay, okay, honesty time. Because nothing's perfect, right? The wifi, as mentioned, could be a little temperamental. Not a deal-breaker, but if you're glued to your laptop, be warned. Also, the walls are a bit thin. You could sometimes hear other guests (or, *ahem*, the morning wake-up calls of particularly enthusiastic roosters from nearby houses). Nothing truly awful, but it's worth knowing. Oh, and parking... I think the parking might have been a tad on the tight side. But let’s be honest, those are minor things. The genuine warmth and friendliness of the staff, the delicious food, the quirky charm... it all outweighs the downsides, by a mile... You have to manage your expectations. Sometimes it’s not about perfection. It’s about a genuine, authentic experience. And that is exactly what the Red Apple Guest House is.
What’s the best time of year to visit?
Honestly, I’d say any time! Pretoria has a pretty good climate. But my personal preference? Spring (September-November) or Autumn (March-May). The weather's generally lovely, and the gardens at Red Apple are in full bloom. Imagine sitting on your balcony with a cup of coffee, the smell of jasmine in the air… Ugh, I'm getting nostalgic just thinking about it. Avoid those extreme heat periods, it can get really hot. But otherwise, choose a time that suits you.
Is it good for families? For solo travelers? For a romantic getaway?
Okay, let's break this down. Families? Yes, absolutely. The atmosphere is incredibly welcoming to kids. Solo travelers? Definitely. I went alone and felt completely safe and looked after. It's the kind of place where you can easily strike up a conversation at breakfast. Romantic getaway? Hmmm... it depends on *your* definition of romantic. It's not the *most* luxurious or private place. But if you want a relaxed, intimate setting, with good food and friendly faces, and a place that feels more home than a hotel, yes, maybe. It certainly worked for me. I’m pretty sure it would work for anyone!
